It’s my guess that you know the myth of Narcissus. He was an amazingly handsome Greek young man, whose beauty attracted the interest of the nymph, Echo. Narcissus is said to have rejected the advance of Echo, who then cursed him. The curse made him fall in love with a reflection of himself in a pool of water. He was so transfixed in self admiration that nothing else mattered. Mercifully, he was turned into a flower to end his madness.
More like self worship!
Narcissism is a strange disorder. It comes out as arrogance, but it’s much worse. Starting with self love, it often mutates into obsessive self admiration. It then progresses to some inflated sense of self importance, whose flip side is a disdain for people who don’t seem to measure up to its standards. Narcissism says, ‘I am awesome & he/she is just trash’.
A narcissist has little empathy for the weak, sick, disabled ‘ugly’, struggling, etc. To him/her, people suffer because they’re not good enough!
Self gratification is the ruling spirit of the narcissist. As long as he/she is satisfied, then everything is satisfactory! In dating, a narcissist will delay defining a relationship because he/she has to be sure you’re worthy! Only the narcissist deserves the limelight & anything that doesn’t feed his/her ego is to be destroyed!
Call me, love me, give me, serve me, compliment me, obey me, follow me, celebrate me, amuse me, comfort me, satisfy me, etc are the everyday demands of the narcissist! I think, you may know one!
Self diagnosis is allowed!
- I have difficultly in building & maintaining long term relationships!
- I keep struggling to present a perfect picture of my life to the world!
- I am always bypassing process & demanding special treatment!
- I cannot admit weakness nor find humour in unwelcome experiences!
- I often use subjugation to replace mutual relationship submission!
- I usually get irritated when challenged or called to accountability!
- I keep living as though ethical rules & laws only apply to lesser mortals!
Any hope for a confirmed narcissist?
Psychology manages narcissism with talk therapy. But then, personality change is extremely difficult when engineered from the outside. Life is lived from inside out & the outflow of life can change radically & quickly when managed from the inside. In Christ, we arrest narcissism by allowing the Spirit of God to take hold of our hearts & letting his word transform the mind!
When we recognise our need for change, pray in sincere penitence & intentionally surrender to Gods’ Spirit, the yoke easily breaks! Yes, the override button for this soulical malfunction is called: the fruit of the spirit!
“But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard – things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, “not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.…” – Gal 5:22-23 (MSG)
Ok! But how do I deal with a narcissistic person?
Confronting a narcissist only makes such resentful & vengeful. He/she cannot feel your pain & cannot afford to be wrong. “I was wrong” & “I am sorry” are terms lacking from the narcissists lips. If you do not navigate carefully, you will be hurt deeply!
- ask God for grace, wisdom & empathy to go through the journey!
- pray for the eyes of the person to open to his/her need of help!
- build strong relationships with empathetic persons to reduce your trauma!
- believe in yourself & refuse to internalise the gaslighting efforts of the narcissist!
- walk away if the relationship is becoming overly abusive & demeaning!
Receive divine wisdom! This week will bless you! This week will empower your destiny advancement! No trauma! No heartbreak! Only favour! Go forth & succeed in Jesus Christ name!